Slide Rock Bolter

 


 The slide rock bolter is a fearsome critter from Colorado. It’s whale like in shape and size, in spite of being an entirely land based creature. On the ends of its tail fins are hooks that allow it to grab onto mountain ridges. It has tiny eyes and a large gaping mouth, much like a sculpin. The bolter also constantly drools out an oily slippery saliva that surrounds it.


The slide rock bolter lives only on the steepest cliff sides, ones that are over 45 degrees. There it remains in wait, hanging high up on the cliff side watchful for its prey. The slide rock bolter’s primary prey is tourists, although it will eat practically any creature it catches unaware. When it spots prey in the valley bellow it lets go of the cliff with its tail hooks and slides down the side of the mountain like an avalanche, flattening anything in its way and leave and trail of destruction. Helping the slide rock bolter slide down the hillside is the ample drool it left behind before, as this acts as a lubricant, sending the bolter sliding down the cliff even faster.


The bolter devours its prey in one big gulp, and is able to eat entire groups of tourists at a time. It then uses momentum to slide up the cliff on the opposite side of the valley, where it then grabs onto the mountain top again with its tail hooks and awaits another group of tourists to come by.


A forest ranger working between Ophir peak and Lizard Head was concerned about one of these beasts scaring off tourists and the community’s main source of revenue. So he devised a plant to kill the local slide rock bolter. He set up a decoy group of tourists, using dummies dressed the part and filled with explosives. The bolter fell for the trap and slid down the mountain. It exploded on impact with the decoys and sent flesh raining all over the valley. It’s said the resulting mess kept the local vultures fed for the whole season.


In recent times the slide rock bolter has been making it onto lists of cryptids and being talked about as a real creature. I didn’t think this was necessary to explain this, as the creature is absolutely ridiculous, but let me assure you that the slide rock bolter is completely fictitious. Fearsome critters as a whole were never meant to be viewed as real cryptids or believed in. They were made up entirely for entertainment around the camp fire and the only people who were meant to believe in them were naive greenhorns, who the more experienced woodsmen would prank for their amusement. Granted there is some overlap, such as in the case of the snallygaster, but not for the slide rock bolter.


Sources


https://www.lib.lumberwoods.org/fclw/bolter.html

https://cryptidz.fandom.com/wiki/Slide-Rock_Bolter

https://abookofcreatures.com/2020/11/27/slide-rock-bolter/


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